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In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.
So any interaction that a guy knows will bring him out of that sweet range of emotions is an interaction he’s going to do everything he can to avoid.
That is to say, he seeks his feeling of validation and worth from how a woman treats him.
It’s not uncommon for people, men or women, to derive their sense of well-being, self-worth, and self-esteem from how other people treat them.
I realize it probably came off jerky, but when I cut off communication, my heart is in the right place.
(Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I won’t completely cut a girl off, but I definitely won’t discuss anything along a relationship conversational thread.) This could be for a few reasons.
It seems innocent enough, but over time the guy begins to starve for whatever it was he got from the things he gave up.
In the case where you dumped the guy, one common reason is that the guy doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t want to deal with his grief over the breakup and he doesn’t want to “deal with himself.” When he jumps into another relationship, he can get a dose of external female validation and derive a feeling of false sense of self-esteem and self-worth from her positive attention.
It has its cost though and eventually devolves into a crippling neediness.
I don’t think it’s that guys don’t want to deal with the breakup…
I think it’s more that they wouldn’t even know how or where to begin… but if I could go back and tell my 15-year-old self a piece of advice about breakups, it would be, “If you get dumped, just move on right away.
Move on immediately, you’ll save yourself a whole lot of time and heartache.” MORE: Ask a Guy: How Can I Avoid Being the Rebound?